Fear is Physical. Why Fat People Avoid Exclusionary Spaces
written by: tonipnw
Fear Isn't Free - The Toll of Constant Worry
Fat individuals are forced to maintain a state of hypervigilance. We anticipate encountering biases and barriers at any moment, in any situation. Will I be stared at on the bus? Will I get unsolicited advice on diets and exercise in the grocery line? Will the only chair available buckle and break underneath me? This anxiety is exhausting. We are ready to protect ourselves emotionally and physically in every new (or proven unwelcoming) space.
Navigating an anti-fat society, spending energy, and the work of emotional labor to constantly have to carve out our own space in activities is isolating and exhausting.
Unsurprisingly, not everyone always has the energy reserve, motivation, and strength to push through fear and roadblocks. We may miss out on opportunities and joy, but prior negative experiences tell us that we also may have dodged being shamed, ridiculed, and embarrassed.
We’ve been let down. Spaces and structures not only fail to be physically accessible, but often are emotionally triggering and uncomfortable. We are dismissed, ignored, and intentionally pushed away from establishing space in activities.
Exclusion is Multifaceted
Reclaiming space is powerful work, but it isn’t easy. It requires an immense amount of physical, mental, and emotional energy that often dredges up trauma. Taking up space isn’t passive, and we are forced to be constantly pushing back at the structures and systems looking to exclude us.
A welcoming space requires more than physical accessibility. Being able to just enter in the door is the bare minimum. True inclusion also challenges biases, attitudes, language and behaviors that preserve exclusivity.
A while ago I was sharing size inclusive beds on my Instagram story; one bed was totally perfect - a weight capacity over 800 lbs, hydraulic, stylish, comfortable and affordable, yet the listing description shamed and mocked fat bodies and our lack of options and access.
Negative experiences like these trigger and create lasting traumas that make it hard to trust and explore new spaces or take up space in places we want to be, even when one facet of accessibility improves.
Every space fat people occupy demands our labor. We must advocate for ourselves, navigate deep biases, and endure relentless hostility.
Access is A Collective Effort
The scars of past traumas are deep, and they continue to be a barrier for many fat people, even when businesses and structures strive for inclusion and neutrality. We must advocate for change in both our immediate spaces and more broadly across industries and policies to genuinely show up for fat people. Collective action is needed to change the tide from normalized anti-fat exclusion to one of universal access and inclusion. Ensure your actions are a lasting and meaningful commitment to inclusion and not just a token gesture for "safe space" points.
Your Actions Lead To Change:
Our society dismisses fat voices, even when we deliver our needs, paths forward, and solutions directly to the public. The lack of active allyship undoubtedly contributed to how the Fat Rights movement became diluted when it gained mainstream attention.
Awareness and action are powerful, and social conditions can be influenced by the ripples of our efforts. Choosing to revoke support for businesses and brands that profit from oppression and exploit fat bodies and understanding and embracing fat liberation and body neutrality will create and support meaningful change.
Listening to and amplifying fat voices is vital in this process. Fat people are expected to fight for our own inclusion and defend the importance of our freedom to access and joy. Allyship is desperately needed, but efforts must be intentional to center fat bodies as awareness and education get shared. It can be easy to unintentionally miss the mark with support or create inclusion exceptions for more marginalized fat bodies. And we can’t afford to repeat the mistakes of body positivity where the core issues fat people experience get lost in the process of visibility.
Breaking The Cycle of Fear
We need to shift how we think about and perceive fat bodies. The idea that everyone deserves access and participation in whatever spaces they want to be in is fundamental. Undoing harm takes time, but it’s the only way to break the cycle of fear, rejection, and devaluation.
Allies, businesses, organizations, and institutions must step up and prioritize inclusion. Designing fat inclusive spaces from the start, challenging biases, ending discriminatory policies and practices, and amplifying fat voices are all part of important and active change.
This is a continuous and long-term effort, but the advantages of inclusion in our current capitalist society are obvious; businesses profit when they stop excluding and devaluing a large portion of their market.
But inclusion's true value is explored through collective well-being. What is the benefit of inclusion - separate from transactional gain?
What motivates people to care about inclusion beyond instant and monetary benefit to themselves?
Peaceful Stability:
Our communities will have less stress and anxiety and stronger, more equal opportunities to interact and thrive. Authenticity, diversity, and belonging within our spaces encourage people to actively participate in their communities and feel pride in stable, fulfilling, and peaceful collaboration.
Safe And Creative Communities:
Universal respect and value celebrates body, identity, and culture diversity, which leads to a more fulfilling and dynamic community. Differences are no longer scrutinized or condemned. Instead, mutual respect strengthens emotional safety and community support for one another.
The ultimate goal of advocacy work, accountable restorative justice, and steps toward inclusion is a society where everyone enjoys freedom, access, and opportunity- with peace, harmony, cooperation, and mutual respect at its core.
About Toni PNW:
Toni is a tattoo artist and fat liberation activist in Portland, Oregon. Her artwork centers and celebrates fat bodies, and through art and education she is dedicated to promoting size inclusion in the tattoo industry and beyond.
You can connect with Toni PNW on social media at @tonipnw . She also shares all her education content on the instagram page @heavryspace and at Heavryspace.com
